Host Club Road Trip
by What-the-Dark
Summary: please comment on our stories we wanna see what you think of them :  disclaimer-we own nothing except for our dirty minds :


As disco chimp exits the room hikaru pulls a laptop out of his ass

Hikaru:hey you guys should read this fanfic by What-the-dark its hilarious!

Haruhi:*takes the laptop*starts reading*

Kaoru:*looking over her shoulder*

Haruhi:fruits basket road trip huh?...hahaha! this is awesome you know we should go on a road trip too

Hikaru&Kaoru:yeah that's a great idea

Hikaru:hey haruhi you are lookin good after that boob-job

Kaoru:yeah you don't look like a dude anymore

Haruhi:well yeah now im not as flat as a cutting board

Hikaru&kaoru:the boss is gonna freak

Tamaki:my daddy senses are tingling… HARUHI! PAPA'S COMIN*runs down the hallway*runs into the classroom*closes the door so he's outside of the room*kicks the door to the classroom down*HAVE NO FEAR DADDY IS HERE!

Haruhi:the door was open you know…

Tamaki:*jaw drops to the floor*regains him self*hahaha very funny guys almost got me there but I know you're just messin with me… like haruhi would get a boob job*walks up to haruhi*pokes her right boob*they're too big to be true I mean come on they're probably pillows or stuffed animals shoved in there.*gabs it*tugs a bit and squeezes*its in there good

Haruhi:let go of my boob senpai

Hikaru&kaoru:*dramatic gasp*le gasp!

Tamaki:um… but… you…not a boob job…not my daughter…*drops the boob*

Haruhi:*boob jiggles for an extra 15 seconds*

Tamaki:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*face is red*steam comes out of ears*SHAAAAAAADYYYYYYY TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS! *points to empty seats* WHY YOU-…!

*gone*

*later after school in the music room*

Tamaki:*in his emo corner drawing boobs on the wall with his blood mumbling to himself*

Haruhi:and that's why we should go on a road trip

Kyoya:hmmm that seems to fit our budget… hell why do we even have a budget well we are filthy rich? I burnt 5 million dollars for a campire so I could roast my gold-coated marshmellows. Cuz yeah im filthy fuckin rich*glances at haruhi*aaaw too soon?

Haruhi:*pulls 5 thousand bucks out of her now dddddd cup bra*what were you sayin kyoya… yeah that's what I thought*stuffs it back it there*

Kyoya:should I even ask?

Haruhi:well the twins gave me this after I promised we'd do something in the

Disco chimp:*runs in*plays music on a boombox*IN THE BACK SEAT~*runs out*

Haruhi:during our road trip

Honey:can we bring cake along! Can we can we!

Mori:…*nods*

Honey:YAY im in!

Kaoru&hikaru:yay! Road trip tomorrow!

*next day*

*Everyone gets inside the "Lust limo"*

Haruhi and twins are in the back, mori is driving, kyoya is in the passenger's seat, tamaki is tied to the roof of the car and his head is right above the open sun-roof, honey is in a dog carrier with his cake and usa-chan outside of the carrier just out of honey's reach….just to be cruel

Mori:*eyes fixated on the road*

Tamaki:*tongue out like a dog*ar arf ar wait… is that… mori! Swerve! Get out of the way!

Mori:…*grunt*runs over belzanif with the lust limo*phone rings*ringtone sings…*what a crime~ such a wonderful crime~ that god would choose to make such lips as mine~

Tamaki:wtf that's my song!... I sound good*hums to the tune*

Mori:*answers phone*hm?

Nekozawa:*spooky voice*you are cuuuuuuursed!*hangs up*

Mori:*shrugs*puts phone down*

Tamaki:NOOOO! Why did we have to run over that cursed doll! Not again! I blame you mori!

Mori:*eye twitches*

Haruhi:*drinking a mt. and do me*car goes over a pothole*drink spills all over her*

Kaoru:oh no you're all wet

Hikaru:better get out of those cloths

Harui:you're right I don't wanna be wet the whole road trip*slowly unbuttons her shirt*raccoon jumps out of her bra and jumps out the window and attacks nekozawas little sister whos on her bike*

Hikaru:you even got wet underneath it let me help*licks the crevice in between her boobs*

Kaoru:give me a lick of that soda(watch collegehumor "soda" you'll get it)*licks her neck*

Haruhi:*closes the sliding window thingy*

Tamaki:senses…! Tingling…! Must…! Get…! Out…!*struggles to break free from ropes*but he knows it was useless cuz they were enforced with vampire blood and mermaid meat and fairy dust*

Honey: I'm done with my cake and now I'm bored. Did you know that rainbows have lots of colors in them. I want my rainbow to be all sparkly glowy. Hey takashi didn't you say you were gonna give me a package? You said it was pretty big.

Kyoya: Just because he said it big doesn't mean it is. You know what they say about tall guys

Honey: Takashi, Takashi, Takashi, Takashi, Taka-chan, Taka-chan, Taka-chan, Taka-Chan, Mori, Mori, Mori, Mori, Mori.

Kyoya: MORI STOP THE FUCKIN CAR NOW! Open the trunk*Grabs honey and throws him in the trunk*

Honey: What about Usa-Chan?

Kyoya: He's stay up by us.*Shuts trunk and gets back into the car*

Mori:*keeps going*

Renge:*powerful motor*come up in the middle of the street*crazy laugh*

Tamaki:look out mori!

Kyoya:keep going

Mori:*keeps going*speeds up a bit*

Renge:ahahahaha! Ha… ha… huh?

*car runs her over*there's loud thuds and screams coming from the back of the limo

Kyoya:so was that honey bouncing aroud in the trunk or was it…

Haruhi:*opens the window thingy*what'd we hit?

Tamaki:*pokes head down inside the limo*sees haruhi in daisydukes and a bra*hikaru is on her shoulder, naked, with a whip, and kaoru is in between haruhi's legs also naked with a ball gag in his mouth and haruhi is riding him like a rodeo*

Tamaki:*girly scream*

Honey:*pick the lock of the dog carrier with the fork for the cake*finds a secret passage from the trunk to the backseat*sees haruhi and the twins getting it on*SCARRED HORRIBLY FOR LIFE!*climbs through the window thingy and clings onto the side of mori's head crying*TAKASHI! WAAAAAAAA!

*pink limo drives next to them*on the side it says "lesbian limo" lobelia girls rise from the sunroof singing*LOBELIA~ LOBELIA~ LOBELIA~

Mori:*cooly pulls out hand gun*shoots each and every one of those biznitches*

Everyone else:*jaws hanging open*

Mori:*puts gun back in pocket*acts like nothing happened and keep on driving*

*silence*

Usa-chan:…I thought they were pretty good

Mori:ALRIGHT THAT'S IT*grabs usa-chan and rips off his head and stuffs a grenade into the stuffing of his body*

Nekazawa:*seizuring on the ground* I just wanted to find my sister

Mori:*chucks usa-chan's body bomb at nekazawa* SUCK IT MOTHA FUCKER

Honey:*crying* why would do that

Mori:SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DO REALIZE HOW MUCH TALLER I AM SO LISTEN BIZNITCH! AND YOU*points to kyoya *WHAT IS THAT BLACK BOOKOF YOUR! THE DEATH NOTE! *to tamaki*YOU BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING. AND I ONLY GET ONE FUCKIN LINE PER SHOW. I MEAN WHATS WITH THAT, I ONLY GET A GRUNT, HUH, MMM, OR A NOD. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU GUYS*to haruhi and the twins*you're my buddies.

Haruhi:by the way I'm pregnant, I thought it was as good of time as any to say it.

Tamaki: …wha-

The End?


End file.
